So it turns out that some waiters are trained to aim the check at the man – I never knew that!
Curiously, I received a comment from a reader who said that in her experience as a waitress, men tend to be better tippers. Another waitress commented that while the men tends to pay, she hasn’t noticed any difference between men and women tippers. According to the couple of surveys that I could find, men are definitely better tippers (see Hitched Mag and 2002 HCareers Survey).
Boyfriend and I are fairly close in terms of tipping (around 18%-20% for lunch and dinner). However, I think that my range of tipping is wider than his. For example, if I have received absolutely fantastic service, I would be more likely to tip 25% than he is. On the other hand, if the service is dismal, I have no problem tipping 10%, whereas boyfriend might feel that’s a little bit low.
Another interesting difference I’ve noticed is that boyfriend tip for take-out pick-up, whereas I usually don’t. Boyfriend also puts his change into those tip jars at Starbucks or Coffee Bean. I hold on to my change (they come in handy when I need coins for meter parking). So, I guess in the grander scheme of things, boyfriend is probably the better tipper by a slim margin.
Even so, I’m not quite convinced that our difference can be attributed to gender – boyfriend has a sibling who works in the service industry, so that aspect is probably more influential on his tipping practice than his gender.
I would like input from readers (especially those of you who has worked as waiters / waitresses) – have you noticed that either men or women tend to be better tippers? Why do you think that is?
Hands down it’s my husband. Since he works as a server when we have good service he tips quite generously. We also take into consideration how long we spend at a table, not just the bill; if we spend two hours drinking $5 worth of coffee at a diner, we’re still probably leaving at least a $5 tip (although hubbin probably leaves $10).
I was a sever for a couple of years and found no significant difference between men/women tippers…
When I was a barista, I received tips from the regular male customers frequently… and the regular female customers hardly ever left anything. So I don’t know if that’s indicative of tipping over all (I feel like it’s not), but in my personal experience, baristas can expect higher tips from men.
I recall working in the fast food industry when I was younger that it was illegal for us to accept tips. If a place accepted tips, the tips needed to be accounted for in the taxes. Unless someone tells me this is untrue, I don’t put tips in tip jars usually. My normal tipping, however, is usually around 20%. I like to err on the side of caution and tip extra–especially if I had a small tab. (I never worked as a waitress, but I really admire how hard they work.)
I have noticed that the check is aimed towards the male usual. I’ve experienced this many times, I give them my card, and then when it comes back they give the tab to whoever the male is at the table! Not to mention that if they even paid a little bit of attention to the name of the card I would think that they would give the check back to me, or at least try to be neutral and put it in the center of the table!
I noticed that I tip a little bit more than my boyfriend. My boyfriend is similar to yours in that he’ll sometimes tip at Starbucks or put his change in there.
I was a waiter for a short while, and I found that it was totally a gender thing, but it depended on the server. I got my best tips from middle aged women. The girls on the staff always had better tips from middle age and older men. Coincidence? I think not.
I try to tip about 20%. Do you think the standard is that now, or is it 15% or something else?
BF tends to leave a 25 percent or greater tip for restaurant table service, but he works for tips himself (he’s a hair stylist). On the other hand, at a bar I always tip $1 per drink, whereas he will leave $1 for two drinks. I never leave less than 20 percent at a restaurant unless the service is really bad (and even then I’ll still leave around 15 percent, or 10 if it is just godawful), and sometimes I will give more if the service is truly exceptional and/or the waiter was super cool and/or super hot. 🙂 Also, Becca, I always leave tips for baristas.
I worked as a waitress and I definitely received better tips from smokers (both) and men. It’s too bad people can’t smoke in restaurants anymore, because I have a feeling the smokers tipped more because they lingered longer at the table smoking with their after dinner drink, versus the non-smokers who eat and leave.
A friend told me that statistically, black women are the worst tippers. I’m a black woman and I thought this was ludicrous and I still haven’t seen the data, but every since I HEARD that I go out of my way to tip 20%, even if the service is horrible.
I talked to my waitress friends (of different races) and they said it hasn’t been a cultural thing, but tipping is definitely gender specific. They said men always tip better than women.
They also agreed that it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. If they see someone who they think isn’t going to tip well, they offer sub-par or bare minimum service. That someone then doesn’t leave a good tip and the statistics stay where they are.
I don’t have any waiter friends. I wonder if waiters think women always tip better.
The world shall never know. I tip awesomely though.
Hmm I’ve never heard that statistic either. I definitely think the self-fulling prophecy aspect can be true – it’s a vicious feedback loop.
I think previous comments were right on – opposite genders tip better depending on the server.
When I was a waitress, the best tippers were men, hands down. Especially if they had their family with them.
Older women were pretty bad. There was a Red Hat lady who once left me a 0.01 tip (and I was NOT bad so it still makes me laugh that she did that, I don’t know what her story was that day).
No overall difference between men of different races (although there was one black pastor who always tipped like, 40% no joke), but I found every black woman I waited on to be a horrible tipper.
I’m a better tipper than my guy, but it’s because my dad raised me to tip at least 20%. Also, I worked in food service as a teenager so I always try to pitch in an extra dollar to the people at the counters. From my experience, I think that age is a better indicator than gender.
I was a server once and the majority of women would put the correct amount (for example if 15% of a meal is $5.13, they’ll write $5.137 on the check) but men would tend to round up or just throw some cash on the table. I tend to tip 20% because usually it’s not the server’s fault if the meal is delayed and I’ve certainly been there before! *shudders* I’m so thankful not to wait tables any more!!
I just read over what I wrote and I said “$5.137.” Oops! Typo–women aren’t THAT accurate. 😉
I actually always round up to the nearest .00 or .50 – I guess I’m OCD in that manner, since I don’t like leaving anything other amounts. I figure out what 15%, but then I round up, and even then, I give more if the service is good.
Mind you I do get annoyed if the server never comes back to the table if you do spend an inordinate amount of time waiting for food or for the table to be cleared, or to check on drinks. If I get one cup of water for the night and someone doesn’t come to check on us and I have to get up and find someone to refill my water (I know it’s free, but still), then I’m unimpressed with service… strangely, I’ve had this happen numerous times.
I’ve been a waitress for 8 years and yes, I’ve noticed that men tip better than women regardless of service. i don’t really care whether I serve men or women but I definitely notice that men drop 18 to 20% while women don’t tip at all… I tip pretty well, my standard is 20%.
As a bellhop, I’ve received good and bad tips from both men and women. However, the thing I hate the most is when I see the man giving the woman 5 dollars to tip me but she hands me 2 dollars. What’s up with that?