I’ve never actually read the Twilight series. I skimmed a couple of the books at Barnes & Noble, but never quite dove in. Last night, however, I stayed up until 3AM watching Twilight the movie.
People enjoy Twilight for different reasons. For most, it’s the love story. After all, Bella and Edward make Romeo and Juliet look pedestrian – what’s some familial fighting compared to insatiable bloodlust? Romeo never wanted to desanguinate Juliet!
I think I’ve just discovered why Twilight speaks to me.
Not because of the vampire-human love story. But because of Bella’s certainty. She was certain that she wanted to be with Edward forever and she was certain she would become a vampire to be with him (I didn’t spoil anything, did I?). The best part of the fact that your boyfriend is a vampire? It’s only one decision. You will have to make one monumental decision (to become a vampire!) but afterward you’re done. You’ve decided your life. There is no room for second-guessing. Now all you have to do is to sit back, relax, and enjoy eternity with your undead beloved (and occasionally dabble in internecine vampire fighting).
Twentysomethings today, especially women, have been told from an young age that they can do anything. But the opportunity to do anything is, on the flip side, the pressure to do everything. There are no certainties about one’s path. No matter what decision you make, there will always be more. Like other young adults, I appreciate the freedom I have – I do. But sometimes the plethora of choices can prove exhausting.
This is the situation Barry Schwartz described in the Paradox of Choice (great video of Schwartz’s talk at the 2007 TED conference): choice is supposed to be the underpinning of individual automony and happiness, but having too many choices can cause 1. analysis paralysis and 2. dissatisfaction with the chioce you’ve made (it’s easy to imagine that you could’ve made a different choice that would be better).
Life is a matter of choice on all fronts – consumer choices, career, family, relationships. This is what 20s are like. You’re trying to get ahead, to be prepared, to make the best choices to set yourself up for happiness and success at home and at work. There are so many decisions, and by extension, so much room for second-guessing.
Sometimes I feel energized by the possibilities that are laid out before me. Other times, I find myself wishing for a little bit more certainty. It’s a feeling I expect I’ll have to work through – for the rest of my twenties and beyond. After all, no vampire is coming for this girl.
Well Heeled Blog 
too many options can be overwhelming for sure!
Doesn’t Edward make you wish that all the boys you knew were so sweet and sparkly? There are days that I look at my boyfriend and wish that he could be a little more Edward-esc for sure.
This topic is a timely one. I am reaching a crossroads in my life, not all because of my own choices, and I constantly find myself thinking that staying where I am now would be way better than making any changes (even though, really, I’m not happy where I am now).
Very true, I often wonder what would have happened if I made different choices. I’ve never been one of those persons certain about their career or life, I have too many different interests and often feel pulled in many directions. I hope you are at least content with the choices you make, certainty doesn’t exist. Unfortunately naive fantasies feed into everyone’s desire for such absolutes. I’ve never seen or read twilight.
I also find myself faced with too many choices, and I want to explore them all. But will I succeed at all of them? It’s really frustrating sometimes. Ah yes, it would be nice to just have one choice and be set for life. Especially with somebody like Edward Cullen 🙂
I was just complaining to my boyfriend last weekend that there are too many choices in life and instead of choosing among a dozen scenarios, I’d rather have two or three choices sometimes. It would make the decision process much smoother and quicker.
I’ve read the Twilight books and seen the first movie (the actors are pretty to look at, especially Rob Pattinson, but their acting made me cringe more than once), but I can’t imagine living for all of eternity. As I like stability, it would be like Groundhog Day over and over again until I decided to do something differently, but it would probably take me a few decades or centuries to break out of a rut. 🙂
The blog entry totally spoke to me, in more than one way. I heart Twilight. I recently saw the movie and then had to read the books. I lost sleep over reading the books, but was totally worth it. And then the movie… le sigh.
The idea that we 20something women can do anything and wanting to do everything, yup that’s me too. I’m going to try and check out that TED talk too.
I feel like, with regards to Twilight, the total commitment Bella makes to Edward is not unlike the author’s total commitment to her religion. I think religion helps to narrow a lot of those choices and gives you some clear guidance…and certainty is easier with the help of religion. So maybe one of the things that makes our choices more broad (and the decisions more difficult) is the way religion has decreasingly influenced society and the choices it offers to begin with, as well as decreasingly served as a framework within which young people make their choices. (Note: I’m not religious. This is just an idea.)
Anyhow, on the whole: yes, yes, yes. So many choices which on the whole I’m very happy with. At the same time, it seems that much harder both to make a choice and to be happy with what that choice once I’ve made it. “But look at that amazing option over there!” seems to be my mantra.
On the flip side, we don’t want too much certainties. Because having complete certainty in life is taking the living out of life. It’s only fun and game when there is risk involved.
Am I the only one who thought Twilight was just a story about a manic-depressive obsessive vampire stalker & a girl kinky enough to get off on that? Just me, then.
I rarely regret my decisions in life, but maybe it’s just because I am finally happy where I am. Also, I suppose I’m a freak since I’ve known what I wanted to do since high school. I sometimes feel pressure to be everything – be a good engineer while staying in shape, dressing nicely, keeping my house clean, being a good cook, being a good lover, etc. My issue usually isn’t the choices I have to make, it’s all the things I want to be or do.
I have only read half of Twilight, though I’m not really surprised about the ending… I got somewhat bored so I haven’t managed to finish yet. Anyway, it really is difficult to be in your 20’s and trying to figure out exactly what the right decision is and how it will impact your life years from now. I mean it is cool to think you can do anything but the second guessing is less cool.
I couldn’t agree more. Women have so many choices to make. Even once they’ve decided on a life partner. They have to decide if they want kids, how they’ll balance work & kids, deal with the constant nagging worry that they’re losing out on precious time if they DO go back to work and yet feel they have to defend themselves as feminists if they don’t.
Even though men staying at home is becoming at least a tad bit more common, I’ve yet to meet any guy who wasn’t sure he’d spend the rest of his life with his career, coming home to a family. They simply aren’t pressured by society in the same way.
And even before marriage, women’s choices can seem either/or. Women who put their career first are scorned by men — even if they do the same thing. So pursue your career or have meaningful interpersonal relationships? Lovely.
The 30’s are starting out to be pretty much more of the same. I actually have LESS of an idea of what and who i want to be than when I was 20–because when I was 20, I thought I knew exactly what I was going to do/be. during my 20’s I dabbled in a few of those personalities/lifestyles/careers, and not many of them seem to fit me or make me happy for very long, or seemed disingenuous to who I really am.
So I continually go back to the drawing board. Not a bad thing–I’ve done some cool stuff–but it leaves me feeling quite unsettled, esp. in comparison to those who seem to have their lives set (they’ve got a house, spouse, kids, a long term career & set hobbies). I’m not saying I want all of that NOW, but I’ve started to long for settled-ness and grounded-ness; I want a little bit more ‘same-ness’ in my life.
I haven’t read or seen Twilight and don’t especially plan to… but I’m glad that my teenaged certainty about things didn’t lock me into anything permanently. I’m a different person from who I was then. I love a job that I hadn’t heard of back then and would have somewhat disdained if I’d been told about it. I want things in my life now that I thought were stupid back then.
There was an article a few months ago, I think in the New York Times, in which the author talked about how the challenge of retirement preparation (or the problem with choosing not to prepare for retirement) is that it’s about a person you don’t know: your future self. It’s hard to know who that person is going to be and exactly what his/her wants and needs will be.
I think in many ways, having a range of choices at this point is more of a plus than a minus, at least for me. There are things in life that I’ve yet to explore. Gotta have some more things for the elderly future me to look back on.
I think you’d like this book. It is exactly about what you just described. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0307270742/ref=s9_simz_gw_s0_p14_i1?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_r=0PPJVB8N3PQYBNHEKK66&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=470938631&pf_rd_i=507846
I wouldn’t want the 17 year old version of me making any eternal choices in my life! Though I can’t say I’ve deviated too greatly from my original course, I certainly never planned on moving to California or knew anything about this specific branch of my career.
I often wonder how differently my life could have turned out if that 17 year old had made one different choice or another. Or same at 21 or even just a couple years ago, I made some big choices then.
I just got an invite on FB to join a group called “Because I read Twilight I have unrealistic expectations in Men”. hahaha I am freaking 30 years old and love this series and movie.
I just turned 30 a couple of weeks ago and have no idea what I want in life. I don’t know if I missed that day in class when you picked what you wanted to be when you grow up but I have no clue. Sometimes I feel so lost but find comfort in the fact that I have a world of options ahead of me. Sometimes i do wish that I knew with certainty what i wanted in life but then I see my friends who for example, all they wanted to do for themselves is get married. Now they are married with kids and that is supposed to be it for them? They are too young to not aspire to do more. Not that being a mother isn’t great but life should be about them and not just their family and kids.
Sometimes I question the decisions I have made in my past. For example, if I had never left SoCal when I was 19 what would be of my life right now? I guess I will never know.
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