Last night, on a lark, I decided I want to go out of town for a getaway this weekend. I thought it’d be a good way to get some R&R and go on a little adventure.
I bought up the idea to CB, who did not share my enthusiasm. Part of the reason is that I currently have more discretionary income than he does, and part of the reason is that I tend to do things more spur-of-the-moment than he does (but I still google for coupons, no matter how spur-of-the-moment! 😉 ).
To be honest, I was disappointed. There goes the romantic weekend escape. I try to think about how I’d feel if the situation were reversed. Might I feel uncomfortable that my significant other offered to pay for the bulk of the vacation? Might I feel that the trip, on such a short notice, wasn’t well-thought out?
I might, and CB probably does.
The rule of personal finance is that you can’t have everything you want, every time you want it. The rule of relationships is that you can’t have everything you want, every time you want it. (Hey! They sound suspiciously alike…).
So, I’m trying to deal with this situation, well, in a constructive manner: acknowledge my disappointment, empathize with his situation, work out a suitable compromise that will be fun and budget-friendly, and then move on.
After talking about it, we decided to go for a day trip instead. The good thing is that this weekend just got MUCH cheaper. Still traipsing around the beach. Still kayaking. Still having fun in the sun. Just minus the two nights of hotel and the additional food expenses.
This little exchange just clarified what a messy topic money can be in relationships. And this is only one weekend that we’re navigating.
How do people do it with much bigger decisions – Should one parent stay home? What sort of protection will the primary caregiver receive in exchange for giving up his/her earning ability? What house to buy? Which set of in-laws will get more help? How should inheritance be treated? Should there be a prenup? What’s a fair way to set up a prenup? So many questions. So many minefields!
Share your experiences on money and relationships in the comments!